Monday, November 07, 2011

My New Roommate?

October 5, 2011
Paris, France

Is this my new roommate or a physical manifestation of my emotional state?

Of all the apartments in Paris…really? I end up sleeping next to a giant scary Gumby?

The other disturbing thing about this apartment, besides the spider that Barbara and I battled (and lost, mainly due to my scream of terror as she was trying to kill it…), was what was in the bathroom: Sean Penn’s head as a toilet paper holder. I stare at this as I go pee, at a loss, thinking back to that fateful night in Haiti, the expression on his face then was not too dissimilar. But, that is another story altogether and one that I’m not at liberty to discuss.

For the last few days I have woken up, not only NOT knowing what apartment I’m in, but not even being able to identify which country.

I’ve slept in 11 different places in the last 2 weeks and have hauled my luggage back and forth across multiple cities and 4 different countries. Normally, this level of movement and travel wouldn’t bother me, but this time I hadn’t signed up for it. I am utterly exhausted in every possible way and the idea of making decisions about my life has left me head-in-my-hands sobbing on Barbara’s couch for several minutes today. Every aspect has been tossed up in the air and instead of coming back down so I can DO something, it’s as if they are all suspended in mid-air keeping me in limbo forcing me to only exist in the present. Being in the moment is one thing, but not when the present utterly sucks.

Tomorrow I move to yet another new place: Savannah. At least, that’s what I refer to Brian’s apartment as. It’s a beautiful Parisian flat on the 6th floor in the 18th not far from Montemarte.

With its pale blue walls, antiques, tall bookcases, dark blue velvet curtains, ceiling fans, and collection of decanters; I'm reminded of the deep south and I suddenly have an overwhelming desire to watch Gone With the Wind and have a mint julep.

However, looking out the window shreds any imagination that I'm actually in the US, as the silhouette of countless chimneys against a rose-colored sky is quintessentially Paris.

The logistics relating to the apartment hopping have become infinitely more complicated thanks to several unwanted “guests” found at Joe and Gerhard’s, known in the scientific community as Cimex lectularius. Now on top of having my possessions spread between 3 countries and probably 6 or 7 flats, most of my clothes that I’ve been traveling with have been quarantined as the exterminators fumigate. Additionally, Brian’s friend who was holding the keys to his apartment has been unexpectedly hospitalized, which has kept him (and the keys) M.I.A. for close to a week.

So here I am, stuck between a scary Gumby and even scarier Sean Penn. How did this happen? How did it come to this? Well, I can’t even begin to write about all the twists and turns and ups and downs my life has taken. All I can say is that I couldn’t have gotten by without A LOT of help from my family and friends. You know who you are; in fact, you’re probably reading this blog. Thank you for making me laugh, letting me cry, protecting me from the elements, helping me move my shit over and over, forcing me to eat, and providing loads of free alcohol.

I started this blog about 5 years ago and have gone through long periods of time where I haven’t updated it, either because of lack of time, inspiration, or, in some cases, lack of electricity. It began because I wanted to keep everyone back home updated and be able to chronicle my adventures/misadventures while pursuing a career in photojournalism and laugh at the unexpected that's cropped up along the way. Maybe this is my version of self-therapy, who knows....but I definitely believe that life is much more enjoyable when you don't take yourself too seriously.

Lately my life has been so unpredictable and complicated that I feel like I’m no longer in the driver’s seat and all I can do is sit back and see what unfolds. So, if you’re reading this and you want to come along for the ride, saddle up. Keep in mind: I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. So it begins…(again).


Bakeitup said...

Love you, HFass! My guest room is always open. It's nothing like Paris or Savannah and I can't promise there aren't scary images of Sean Penn strewn about but it's warm and close to home/friends/family. Sending you a big fat hug! ~Ana

Anonymous said...

hang in there sis. You need to call me.

xoxoxo Big Sis.

Pat said...

Cool to see the ninja back

Anonymous said...

I just think how bored you'd be with an 9-5 job. Hope you're brewing up a new adventure!


Anonymous said...

Girlfriend, you always have a place in Bellingham. First thing I'd do though would be to smack you for killing spiders. And then I'd feed you and give you a drink. Be careful and keep in touch. I'm sort of worried but have to remember that you are like a cat, always land on your feet. You're smart like that.
xoxo - c

schmoopee said...


Ed Fassio said...

you can always scout great, French musicians! Be safe. You are correct, we (or at least me) do NOT have any of your contact information except for FB, e-mail and THIS blog! So please send. Love always, -Big Bro